Survival of the Kindest

“We think too much and feel too little. More than machinery, we need humanity; more than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness."

-Charlie Chaplin in The Great Dictator

In 1990 (that’s 36 years ago for those keeping score), I got my first part-time job, working the bakery counter of a large grocery store.  For a very shy and awkward teenager, dealing with customers was a new and difficult experience.  To make matters worse, the cash register often malfunctioned in a way that required me to radio a supervisor who would come to the bakery and enter a special key and code, a process that took around 3 minutes.  The register especially loved to do this when an impatient customer was at the counter.  This led to many angry comments directed at yours truly about how unacceptable this was and/or how incompetent I was at my job.  To be fair, both were at least partially true.  

One evening, a gentleman came to pick up a birthday cake for his granddaughter, and of course the register did its special thing.  This time, however, it took an unusually long time to get a manager there, around 10 minutes.  As the moments ticked by and I waited to get yelled at, he did something curious: Nothing.  Not a word. Not even a scowl or glance at his watch.  He waited patiently, looking unperturbed.  After what felt like an eternity, the manager finally showed up and fixed the error.  He paid, and when I gave him his change, he handed it back to me.  “Thanks so much!” he said with a big, honest grin, as if I had somehow done him a favor.  

36 years later, I still remember that man.  I can still see his face clear as day.  He had every reason to be upset, but had chosen not to notice.  He probably forgot our encounter by the time he walked out of the store.  However, his small gesture ended up shaping my life in an oddly deep way.  Over the years, I realized that what I encountered in that moment was genuine kindness.  Not just being nice, not just generosity, but true joy that overrides small inconveniences.  And though I’ve often failed, I have tried to emulate this kindness ever since.

It is in giving that we receive.

As students and instructors, we can often become obsessed with perfection:  Perfect form, perfect body, the perfect class flow.  We’re so focused on progress that we forget where we are, and more importantly, who we’re there with.  Life is a hard enough journey as it is, and like it or not, we are in the boat together.  Why not help each other row?

I hope that granddaughter had many beautiful birthdays with her granddad, and I hope the next time you feel anger arise, you will choose kindness instead.  You might change someone’s life.